He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
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