bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
