and next time when you feel me up, do it right
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
