ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
