Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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