im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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