How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
