.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
