Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize