ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
