I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
