I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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