There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
You can't special order awesome
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
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