his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
