i permit you to call me
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
mondays should just be called national damage control day
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
