There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
