Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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