He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
