Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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