He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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