Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
