ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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