fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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