I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize