We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
