i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
