"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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