i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
