I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
