Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize