my mouth tastes like poor choices
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Your penis caused this!
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
