He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
