you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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