The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Randomize
