Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
