She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
