How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
