That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize