I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
