well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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