Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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