If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
