I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
