I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
