We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
