the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
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