Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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