people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
