btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
