I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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