I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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