The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
