Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
