She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
