shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
whose parrot is this?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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