Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You were trust falling into bushes
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize