you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
