i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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