$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
