I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
