you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize